Why is two times ten the same as two times eleven?
Because two times ten is twenty, and two times eleven is twenty, too!
A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, please help me. I hurt all over."
The doctor asked the man to explain more.
The man said, "When I touch my arm it hurts, when I touch my leg it
hurts, when I touch my head it hurts. Everywhere I touch it hurts."
The doctor examined the man and said, "Mr Smith, your finger is broken!"
While on holiday in Las Vegas a couple went to see a magic show.
After one of the tricks the woman shouted out, "How did you do that?"
The magician replied, "I could tell you, madam, but if I did then
I would have to kill you."
The woman thought for a few seconds and then shouted back, "Okay,
then tell my husband how you did it."